Tag Archives: story

Rudy Poo Tootee Does His Duty

 

Rudy Poo Tootee was not a name anybody called the red-nosed hero  to his face, but that was his nickname among the Reindeer Corps, his elite team of Santa’s sleigh pullers.

Oh the reindeer respected Rudy alright, but Rudy was — how shall I say this in a delicate manner? — somewhat anal. You know, head so far up the butt his rigidity prevented him from bending over.

Rudy’s training regimen was strictly formulaic. March, march, march. Run, run, run. Crawl, crawl, crawl. Jump, jump, jump. Roll, roll, roll. Fly, fly, fly. Now do it again until you get it right. Every day, day in and day out. Oh it was tiring training to be an elite reindeer.

But back to the nickname.

Forgive me for transitioning from the anal to flatulent. Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just telling you the story as it happened.

Anyway.

One day Santa walked onto the training grounds looking for his reindeer leader, and he yelled “Rudy!” which was what everyone called the red-nosed one.

Right after that, Rufus — Rudy’s cousin — the snot-nosed reindeer, let loose with a gassy “Pa Too Tee.” Not silent, but deadly nonetheless, judging by the reindeers’ wrinkled up faces.

Now, you have to realize that despite Rufus’ love of bodily-function humor, he hadn’t intended to let loose at that particular moment. Oh, he intended to fart with great vigor and release a really smelly onion bomb.

That was the only reason he was on the parade grounds that day. He wasn’t much into Rudy’s training obsession. Rufus was all about the jokes.

Rufus ate three onions from Mrs. Claus’ kitchen in hopes of building up the most effective flatulence.

But he was trying to hold the fart in in deference to Santa, whom he hadn’t expected that day. Unable to stifle the fart, it escaped him with a three-part, almost musical, sound.

“Poo Too Tee.”

The Reindeer Corps heard Santa’s “Rudy” and then Rufus’ “Poo Too Tee” and seized on the rhyme to dub their leader Rudy Poo Tootee.

But I digress from my original intention. I really meant to come here to remind you how we left the reindeer cousins at the end of the story “Rufus the Snot-Nosed Reindeer.”

In that story, Rufus unintentionally seized Rudy’s authority and upended the status quo. When given the opportunity to regain his head reindeer role, Rudy Poo Tootee does his duty.

Read “Rufus the Snot-Nosed Reindeer: The Reckoning“, to learn how the story turned out, not only for the reindeer cousins, but ultimately, for children all over the world.

David Madrid

Contact: David Madrid

© 2019 FabulousFables.com

Rufus is no Doofus: A reindeer’s story

 

Rufus was a snot-nosed reindeer, but don’t let that gross you out.

Because within his veins ran the blood of reindeer royalty.

Yep. Somewhere along the reindeer evolution timeline, a strain of reindeer blood exerted itself and produced some remarkable offspring, reindeer who would do incredible things in their lives.

Two of these reindeer princes were cousins, but as different from one another as a frog and a flea.

Both came to their greatness through humble beginnings.

One was bullied and taunted and not allowed to join in reindeer games.

The other had no need for reindeer games. He was a warrior with one goal in life: to wrestle.

You will be surprised to learn that both cousins saved Christmas.

One is famous for lighting Santa’s way.

The other is not famous except in the North Pole, where he is as legendary as his famous cousin.

So I’ll tell you the story of the not-so-famous reindeer.

He was called Rufus the snot-nosed reindeer, but he didn’t care.

Rufus was not a reindeer to worry about drama, idiocy or nicknames.

He was a reindeer who cared for only one thing: the thrill of of a competitive grapple.

Read his story: Rufus the Snot-Nosed Reindeer.

David Madrid

Contact: David Madrid

© 2020 FabulousFables.com

Thanksgiving: A Bird’s Perspective

 

Thanksgiving.

A time of gratitude and counting our blessings.

A time when November breezes anticipate December freezes.

A time when families and loved ones come together and share a meal.

A time of green bean casserole and pumpkin pie.

A time of turkey slaughter on a massive scale.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not complaining. I am as guilty of enjoying Thanksgiving turkey as the next guy.

But for one tiny hummingbird, Thanksgiving was a time of terror.

Gilbert, the hummingbird,  heard that humans eat birds on this holiday.

He feared he could become a meal, a morsel for sure, but a meal nonetheless, for a boy who showed too much interest in Gilbert’s movements.

You’ve probably figured out that Gilbert the Dancing Hummingbird is not your typical Thanksgiving story.

As with many stories on FabulousFables.com, this story sprouted from a kernel of truth: a little boy’s love for a green-headed hummingbird.

David Madrid

Contact: David Madrid

© 2019 FabulousFables.com

The Night of the Goat Sucker

Consider the goat sucker, better known as el chupacabra.

What is this creature? Is it real? If so, why has nobody produced evidence? Where is a body? Where are the bones of the dead goat suckers?

Yet, there have been numerous sightings. The creature has been spotted in Puerto Rico, Mexico, South America, the Southwestern United States, and now, reports trickle in from around the world.

Some eye witnesses say the chupacabra has large oval blood-red eyes. Alien eyes. Which raises the question, is the chupacabra extraterrestrial?

Out on the streets, the word is that the loathsome little creature was born in a government lab somewhere inside Area 51, that fortress of extraterrestrial legend.

The origin of the goat sucker is a mystery my friends. But there is something about this creature that is not of this world, it with its sharp fangs, serpent’s forked tongue, greenish-gray hue, leathery hide and spikes on its back. Just weird.

Well, I’m here to tell you that the chupacabra exists.

How do I know? I am an eye witness. I am going to tell you my story of that chilling encounter. Since that night, which coincidentally, was Halloween, I have learned much about el chupacabra.

Some night you may come across a chupacabra. You will be frightened, and rightly so. The chupacabra is hideous to behold.

But the animal, if indeed it is an animal, probably will flee, because it is an elusive creature. It is a loner. Traditional chupacabras hide. They generally avoid people and even other chupacabras.

But what if, like people, chupacabras have complex personalities? Maybe their alien brains are more complex than ours, but we can’t recognize that because of our limited and puny human intelligence?

What if there was a chupacabra larger and stronger than all the others? What if that creature was a beast with a malevolent personality and a hankering for not just goat blood, but human child blood and flesh as well?

Well my friends, that would be one dangerous creature. A fierce and formidable fiend.

So I’m going to tell you my story of my encounter with this bloody creature, a most evil entity who wasn’t content to just suck goat blood, but rather, he enjoyed ripping his victims apart.

Read my story El Chupacabra” here.

David Madrid

Contact: David Madrid

The Hunter’s Moon

The Hunter’s Moon will rise tomorrow.  A Hunter’s Moon is defined by the Old Farmer’s Almanac as the full moon following the Harvest Moon, which happens near the first day of fall.

But we know that all full moons are Werewolf moons. In that context, a Hunter’s Moon takes on a different meaning.

The Lonesome Werewolf is a story about a young werewolf whose greatest wish is to have friends. The story is one of several Halloween stories that FabulousFables.com will feature between now and Halloween. Enjoy.

Contact: David Madrid

The Spider and the Fly

By Mary Howitt

“Will you walk into my parlor?” said the Spider to the Fly,
“‘Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlor is up a winding stair,
And I have many curious things to show you when you are there.”
“Oh no, no,” said the Fly, “to ask me is in vain;
For who goes up your winding stair can ne’er come down again.”

“I’m sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?” said the Spider to the Fly.
“There are pretty curtains drawn around, the sheets are fine and thin;
And if you like to rest awhile, I’ll snugly tuck you in!”
“Oh no, no,” said the little Fly, “for I’ve often heard it said
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!”

Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, “Dear friend, what can I do
To prove that warm affection I’ve always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that’s nice;
I’m sure you’re very welcome – will you please take a slice?”
“Oh no, no,” said the little Fly, “kind sir, that cannot be,
I’ve heard what’s in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!”

“Sweet creature,” said the Spider, “you’re witty and you’re wise;
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I have a little looking-glass upon my parlor shelf;
If you step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself.”
“I thank you, gentle sir,” she said, “for what you’re pleased to say;
And bidding good morning now, I’ll call another day.”

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again;
So he wove a subtle web in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready to dine upon the Fly.
then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
“Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple, there’s a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are as dull as lead.”

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew, –
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue;
Thinking only of her crested head – poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den
Within his little parlor – but she ne’er came out again!

And now, dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly, flattering words, I pray you ne’er heed;
Unto an evil counsellor close heart, and ear, and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale of the Spider and the Fly.

Mary Howitt, (1799–1888) published The Spider and the Fly in 1829. It is a cautionary tale about the use of flattery and charm to mask evil and unsavory intentions. Although written so long ago, the poem is as relevant today as the day it was written. That is why I have included the poem here in FabulousFables.com. The poem’s lesson is timeless.

David Madrid

Contact: David Madrid

Green Eggs and Ham and a Tortilla Too

Green Eggs and Ham and a Tortilla Too new

 

Green Eggs and Ham and Tortilla Too

I tried to impress the little guys

By making hippo porridge with some wormy fries.

They weren’t impressed, they told me so;

Therefore I cooked some pigeon toes.

“Nope,” they said. “They look so bland.”

So I cooked them aardvark pasta mixed with sand.

They turned their noses at the thought of that.

So I offered some amoeba cheesecake soaked in fat.

“No. No. No.” They insisted to me;

“You don’t understand what it is that we need.”

So I whipped up a batch of green eggs and ham;

I added a burnt tortilla and held the spam.

“How about this?” I asked, my spirits high.

I got a look that would chill Capt. Bligh.

“You’re going to eat that?” asked the oldest one.

“Yes,” I said. “It should be quite fun.”

So I ate green eggs and ham and a tortilla too,

“Yuck!” said the boys, finally impressed at the things I can do.

By David Madrid with apologies

To Dr. Seuss

Contact: David Madrid

The Peninsula of Toys

The Peninsula of Toys

peninsula of toys

The peninsula of toys
Moves piece by piece
Down the hall.
A four-armed alien wrestler
Is joined by Spider Man and triceratops.
They reach out from the wall
Growing as the peninsula of toys.
The playthings of
Four little boys.
Toys cluster and grow
They move about.
A basketball bounces
A semi loses its trailer
T. rex skeleton chews a black clip-on tie
Yellow baseball bat wishes for a ball
In the end, they join
They grow
They move about
They creep out from the wall
They form the peninsula of toys
Made of the things of little boys.

David Madrid

Contact: David Madrid